Dear Nicky,
Today I write to you to tell you how I am and the rest of us. We're all getting along in our lives and there is one hole in our hearts that can never be filled again. Your loss changed the course of our lives, especially mine, as I changed completely. No more Bayonne Medical Center. They did me a favor and let me go. I'm glad they did because you gave me the courage to find myself and finally figure out who I was and why I was so unhappy and miserable in my life. It turned out to be the job and my life in general. Since you've been gone I have been in the hospital three times after trying to hurt myself since losing you was so painful and I felt so alone at times. No one in the family is to blame for what happened to me. I'm just getting older and the hormones and the brain chemicals are changing inside me and the meds stopped working. Since October of 2010, I have been involved in the Intensive Day Treatment Program at Jersey City Medical Center and it changed my entire outlook on life. I am, however, unable to work full time since I got Social Security. But that's ok. I am now volunteering at the program I am a patient at and I am better than ever. You would be so proud of me. However, my medical records "career" is over. I'm done with the stress and bullshit. Hopefully I will be working in New York City at a Barnes and Noble soon. Another thing about me that we never had a chance to discuss and I'm sorry I didn't know this before you left us is that I'm bisexual. I don't know if you would have accepted this but so far, the rest of the family has. I consider myself lucky. Our family has turned out to be the beacon in my life. I also left Sherman Place and I live in the attic apartment in another part of Jersey City because living there without you was so painful. I am now happy, still single but that's ok too, and finally coming full circle.
For the first time in a very long time, the person that I was as a kid is coming back. Just Friday night I hung out with Tony, Colleen and the kids and we all sang along to Green Day songs (Green Day reminds us of you).
Britney is doing ok too. She's in Bailey now and they can't get over how much she looks like you. Linda and Jessica miss you like crazy. We all do. Until next year, take care of everyone we know who's with you and we'll talk again. I love you and miss you always...
xoxo
Susie....
Today I write to you to tell you how I am and the rest of us. We're all getting along in our lives and there is one hole in our hearts that can never be filled again. Your loss changed the course of our lives, especially mine, as I changed completely. No more Bayonne Medical Center. They did me a favor and let me go. I'm glad they did because you gave me the courage to find myself and finally figure out who I was and why I was so unhappy and miserable in my life. It turned out to be the job and my life in general. Since you've been gone I have been in the hospital three times after trying to hurt myself since losing you was so painful and I felt so alone at times. No one in the family is to blame for what happened to me. I'm just getting older and the hormones and the brain chemicals are changing inside me and the meds stopped working. Since October of 2010, I have been involved in the Intensive Day Treatment Program at Jersey City Medical Center and it changed my entire outlook on life. I am, however, unable to work full time since I got Social Security. But that's ok. I am now volunteering at the program I am a patient at and I am better than ever. You would be so proud of me. However, my medical records "career" is over. I'm done with the stress and bullshit. Hopefully I will be working in New York City at a Barnes and Noble soon. Another thing about me that we never had a chance to discuss and I'm sorry I didn't know this before you left us is that I'm bisexual. I don't know if you would have accepted this but so far, the rest of the family has. I consider myself lucky. Our family has turned out to be the beacon in my life. I also left Sherman Place and I live in the attic apartment in another part of Jersey City because living there without you was so painful. I am now happy, still single but that's ok too, and finally coming full circle.
For the first time in a very long time, the person that I was as a kid is coming back. Just Friday night I hung out with Tony, Colleen and the kids and we all sang along to Green Day songs (Green Day reminds us of you).
Britney is doing ok too. She's in Bailey now and they can't get over how much she looks like you. Linda and Jessica miss you like crazy. We all do. Until next year, take care of everyone we know who's with you and we'll talk again. I love you and miss you always...
xoxo
Susie....
